


Forevers

by ghostlace



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Kevin is a Good Friend, M/M, They dont do 'love', and also current?, dean comes to terms with a lot of things, goodbyes arent easy, implied past kevin/sami, rough riders talk about feelings, sami comes to terms with a lot of things, who knows with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 05:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18462830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlace/pseuds/ghostlace
Summary: Maybe Sami loved Dean.And maybe Dean loved him back.It's better not to deal in forevers when nothing lasts.





	Forevers

“Do you miss him?” Kevin asked Sami quietly, his figure a hulking shape swaddled in about 20 blankets on the bed. Sami looked up from the hoodie he’d been crushing against his chest for the past hour with a start. He’d been sure Kevin was asleep until now or at least feigning sleep to give Sami the illusion of privacy so he could mourn his loss in peace. He’d lost a part of himself. It wasn’t something that he could move on from easily. He wasn’t Kevin, who could take endless loss and betrayal in his stride, he was Sami. Overly invested in people who could never love him back.

He’s lost parts of himself before. He’d lost Kevin on his own about a million times, Neville was gone now too, but this one was hitting him particularly hard because he never got to say goodbye. He’d forgotten how hectic it was to be back on the road and how little time you got to see anyone outside of the person you were in the ring with or riding with.  
“No, Kevin, I’m doing this because I don’t miss Dean Ambrose” 

“Fair ‘nuff, whatever you say, man” The large man grumbled as he got to the floor, dragging the blankets with him “I get it, you need time or whatever, but you don’t need to sit in the dark alone with his hoodie like a little obsessed gremlin”

“Thanks, Kev, you always know just what to say” Sami muttered before being enveloped in a Kevin shaped hug, the bigger man hauling him onto his lap. Kevin laughed quietly and shook his head. 

“I’m only doing what you’d do for me” Kevin mumbled.

That much was true.

When they weren’t fighting, they were inseparable, as good as one entity in two bodies. They were each other’s consciousnesses and they fought to keep each other afloat in the world. Sami would do anything for Kevin and Kevin would do the same for Sami until something gave and they were back at each other’s throats. Soulmates, but broken ones.

It was that fact that kept him from talking about Dean.

What if the next time that something gave, Kevin used it against him? Kevin couldn’t promise forever, neither of them could anymore. The world was made of temporaries. Kevin was temporary. Sami was temporary. Dean was…

Dean was gone.

He’d left for some other adventure out in the world and left Sami behind.

“He loved you,” Kevin said slowly, “Seth told me, and he-“

“Dean Ambrose loved very few things, and he most certainly didn’t love me,” Sami said immediately, a reflex ingrained into him after so many years of lying to himself. He dropped the hoodie, Dean’s hoodie that he’d given him ages ago, onto his lap. Sami liked things and he tried his best to never fall in love with anything. He loved wrestling and travelling. He loved audiences and vegan food. But he tried so hard not to love people.

There was Kevin. Despite everything he loved Kevin because he was his best friend and had been for such a long time, even when they were hurting each other so viciously. And Dean. He’d never considered that Dean would worm his way into his heart as well.

It was entirely by accident.

He’d knew he loved him long before they’d really met. Jon Moxley, screaming and covered in blood, was Generico’s first crush outside of… well, Kevin Steen. He was so full of life, bleeding red hot blood on the canvas as he took people to the ground to prove he was more than insane. Not that it worked often, he just seemed madder with every match and every lost cause he championed. Generico thought he’d burn up just watching him perform and Sami Zayn would still burn up watching him now so many years later. 

“Maybe not love, I know you hate using that word, but you mattered a lot more to him than anyone ever did” Kevin’s breath ghosted over the back of Sami’s neck. It was odd to not have hair there to protect him from Kevin but different times called for different haircuts “Seth told me; Rollins is pretty sure that he loves you more than anything in the world”

“Why would he leave me then?” Sami snarked back. 

“Because…” Kevin let go of Sami and leant back “I don’t fucking know, Sami, I don’t know okay, I wouldn’t leave you alone if my life depended on it, even when we’re fighting, I can’t leave you alone”

“Thanks for your consistency, Kev”

“No problem, man” He patted Sami’s back gently and went to push him away before pausing “Hey, why don’t we try that vegan place we saw on the way into town tomorrow?”

“Yeah, Kev, that sounds-“

He was cut off by a knock at their room door. Sami groaned and crawled off his friend’s lap, shooting him a ‘we’ll finish this tomorrow’ look at Kevin before heading to the door. He crossed the room and grabbed the handle, swinging open the door. He wasn't sure who he was expecting, but it wasn't Dean Ambrose.

“Hey Rough Rider” 

“Dean?”

Ambrose pulled Sami into a bone-crushing hug, backing him into the room.

“Ambrose, it’s fucking 1am, could you have shown up earlier?” Kevin asked as Dean shut the door with his heel, still with a hold of Sami who pushed his face into Dean’s shoulder as a force of habit. He breathed into the scent of smoke on his jacket, the Dean-ness of it all. Smells he hadn’t got a chance to breathe in so long.

“Tried” Dean muttered “Had a going away party with the boys and Seth wouldn’t let me leave”

Yeah, the smell of alcohol was there too. Dean pulled back, placing a hand under Sami’s chin to tilt his face upwards.

“Hello babe, missed you” Dean’s face dipped to almost brush his lips against Sami’s before Sami stopped him, a hand against his chest.

“Mouthwash in the bathroom”

“Tough crowd” Dean let go of Sami and disappeared off towards the bathroom. Kevin picked himself up from the floor with a chuckle, throwing himself and his blankets down onto the bed. 

“Did you know about him coming?”

Kevin groaned “Of course, just wasn’t sure if he’d show with all the texts I was getting from Becky” 

The big man unpeeled his blankets, leaning forward to paw through his suitcase for clothes. Sami frowned.

“What are you doing”

“Going out so you can have some time with him alone without me butting in” Kevin grumbled as he pulled his clothes on. He was done by the time Dean emerged from the bathroom “Party still on, Dean?”

“You know it, the Usos are planning on keeping it going all night”

“Peachy, see you later, mon ange” Kevin crossed the room, scratching Sami’s beard as he passed him and headed out the door leaving Dean and Sami alone. 

Dean smiled from the other side of the room, leaning on the bathroom door’s frame. He looked good, not that Sami should be surprised. Where Sami had stayed the same through injury, Dean had come back stronger. He had always been a work of art, but now he was even better.

“Hey”

“Hey”

Dean crossed the room towards Sami and held out his arms, expecting Sami to throw himself into them. When he didn’t, Ambrose looked disappointed, a frown crossing his face.  
“Sami, come on, what’s-“

“Dean I can’t do this, I can’t let you just walk out of my life and force myself to act like everything’s okay because it’s not! It’s never going to be okay!” Sami’s voice pitched up as he talked, his words blurring together. Dean approached him slowly, his hands going to touch Sami’s biceps.

“Hey, hey, Sami, don’t be-“

“Don’t be what? Like this?” Sami batted his hands away, taking a step back “Don’t tell the truth? Don’t talk about how I feel?”

“No, don’t be… upset about me leaving, you don’t have to be, sweetheart” Dean took a step back, lowering his hands down “We’ve done this a million times before, and we’ll both do it a million times again for different people in different places”

Sami let out a small sigh, pushing back the tears threatening to prick in his eyes as he looked at Dean “Yeah? Well maybe I don’t want to do it this time”

“Yeah, well, tough luck, babe, we gotta” Dean took a step forward, his arms open again as if he was offering Sami one more chance. Sami gave in, moving into his arms, pressing his face against his shoulder. Dean reached up to stroke his back softly “We knew this was temporary when we got into it and you know I have more stories to tell”

Yes, of course, it was always coming. It was always coming towards them like a runaway train. Sami just didn’t think that it would be so soon or so brief. 

He could admit that he had imagined a forever with Dean once or twice. Why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t exactly a shameful thing to admit. He’d imagined the same forever scenarios with Kevin before when he was Generico and Kevin was Steen. The domesticity of coming back to the same room with the same man every night, curling up with him and eating breakfast in the morning together. Perhaps Sami was too soft for a life like the one he had.

“Yeah, I just… I suppose I was hoping for more time”

“You and me both, babe” Dean breathed out quietly “I just… I feel itchy all over, like my blood’s jumping in my veins and I know it means I gotta get outta here”

Sami just nodded and turned his head on to the side on Dean’s shoulder, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes. Dean needed something more than he could get where he was. Maybe he needed to reinvent himself, or maybe he needed to be Moxley again and feel the violence in his veins again. Sometimes Sami missed Generico. Things were simpler then, when he was under a mask and was playing at someone that wasn't himself. Masks helped you feel like someone else. Maybe Mox was Dean’s mask.

“What d’ya say to one last time, Sami?”

“Just one?”

“Kev’s gotta come back into the room at some point, and I have to leave at some point, there aren’t any forevers here tonight, baby”

“Then one, mon amour” Sami confirms. Dean catches under his chin to kiss him softly, the warm roughness of Dean’s lips against his. It was soft and minty but Sami wanted it to last forever.

Perhaps it did last forever in some world for another pair with different names and similar faces. Maybe it could last for Kevin and Sami, or Generico and Steen. Maybe it could last forever for Mox and Generico. 

But not for them. Not for Sami Zayn and Dean Ambrose. Not this time


End file.
